Best Way to Communicate with Someone Who Has Dementia
If you’re caring for someone with dementia, it may seem like the heart of every problem with care is the inability to communicate. If, in olden days, you reminded your loved one to take their pills, they might have said “oh, geez, yeah. I forgot,” just like you might say today if we forgot.
We all understand that language breaks down over time with dementia. As the parts of the brain that hold language are affected by the disease, it becomes more and more difficult to communicate. However, just knowing that doesn’t really help us in the moment.
I want to give you a drill that you can do in order to try to reestablish some communication. You’re going to need to use your imagination and creativity, so get ready!
I want you to imagine a James Bond kind of scenario. Let’s say you and one other person are in a room together, and you have to solve a puzzle to defuse a nuclear bomb! The only problem is that you don’t speak the same language, not even close. You can’t make out anything, and neither can the other person.
The fate of the world hangs in the balance, Mr. (or Ms.) Bond. What do you do?
I guarantee that you would quickly discover alternate methods of communication. You would look very carefully and study each other, questioning each gesture and evaluating each movement. You might notice:
Sign language: what kinds of gestures are being made with the hands? What do they mean? Is it possible they don’t mean what you first thought?
Sounds: even though the spoken language isn’t present, there’s still noise. Is your fellow secret agent sighing, crying, laughing, or screaming? Why? Is it directed at you, or a situation, or something that’s only related to them? What’s the “tone” of their noises: angry, happy, sad, etc.?
Facial expressions: do you see an expression shift? Do you see a significant change as they perform a bomb-defusing action? Does it match the rest of the body language? Does the face match the sounds being made? The posture being held?
Posture and body language: does posture shift unusually? Is the person holding themselves differently? Do the facial expressions correspond to pain when posture changes or movement happens? Is the person avoiding a movement that they might usually do naturally? Do they appear confident or withdrawn? Alert or distracted?
There are plenty more ways to communicate without words, but that gives you an idea.
That’s the drill I’d love for you to try. Defuse a bomb with your loved one who speaks a different language! Study them. Find meaning in the methods of communication that they still have. They may not be able to understand you, but if you treat the situation like the fate of the world - their world - depends on understanding them, you may just become Special Agent Caregiver 007!
Leave a comment and let me know how it went for you!
